This might go here, as I am going to be mentioning Buddhism and bodily acceptance.
Many on this forum are very spiritual; perhaps believing that their very essence is not in the body, but in the soul. How, then, does one accept this fleshly carrier of the soul?
There are times I resent my body, for what it represses, what it communicates and how it functions. Often breathing brings pain, the heartbeat becomes a rhythmic POUNDING upon my chest, hands and throat. Where can we go to escape? Often I fear there is no escape.
People are often self-conscious of the way they look. It's a typical thing to be as such. People often use the way they look for their own personal benefeit- whatever that benefeit may be.
The Halo Effect is the bias of appearances that is natural to every human mind. An individual with only a single desirable trait in the mind of the viewer, is thought to have many desirable traits. For example: a person who wears glasses is often thought to be intelligent, and physical attractiveness is attributed to good nature and skills.
Is there strength in rising above the physical norms of those around us? I believe so. Sometimes I wonder if it is not better for those who are blind. Are they more wise than us gifted with sight?
Buddhist monks, due to their celebacy are tought that the human body is merely flesh, blood and bone through what may be perceived as a gruesome ritual. The body of a woman recently dead is layed before them, naked and in its simplest state. From here, the body is dismembered, limb for limb, tendon for tendon, organ for organ, until the monk's mind becomes used to the sight of skin-less flesh.
This ritual teaches that what we are incased in is merely carnage. For all the desires they may hold, or the repulsions, this body is only as important to our existance as the dirt on which we stand. To acheive the highest state of existance, the purest most wise state in which one might cancel out all influence but truth, one must dissect life itself.
Such knowledge might help us all to rise above the mainstream's views concerning attractiveness, help us become truly one with our spirits, our histories and the intent of the universe. Often I am blown away by what my neighbors cannot see; by the ways in which they are blinded, how tighlty their eyes are shut.
This is not an issue of being better than everyone else; it is an issue of besting yourself. Can a person live without political reality, media, and the ideals of a mislead generation being shoved in their face? I am trying to do so, to change the way I see things, to become less human and more myself. It is time we look at such matters, time to revoke their lies and ideals. It is time to embrace reality and what awaits for us there, beyond birth, age and death.
We are more than meat.
-DI-
I know that this body is nothing but a carrier for the essence whcih is truly me. i know this because my body has died many times and I go on. I know this because there have been many times when I have felt the separation very strongly, as if i were simply looking out through windows in a robot and watching as the hands type or the lest move and have caught myself wondering as if from a distance what was making them do that..
I have often looked at my hands and wondered at the fact that they really do not seem to be mine at all.
I have often looked into my eyes in a mirror and seen past them to something else inside
I have no doubt at all about the separation of the spirit from the body and that the essence of what a person is lies in the spirit. I do not need to see the inside of a body to know that one day I will step away from it and be, perhaps, more truly myself
Yet in the meantime, there is no use wasting our time in the world. For what we have taken, we must make eternal amends. This body is no more mine than the ocean, but it is what I make due with. It will be what I use to asphyxiate misdeeds so that perhaps I won't have to return to this sick earth in my next cycle.
Is it a hope against hope?
I'm sorry to say, but i pity you and your view of this fleshy existence.
The world is a terrible place, yes this is true, but everything is about balance and though this world holds such terrible things it also holds beautiful things. If all you can focus on is the weight of your body instead of the movement of it, the joy of having something physical to interact with this worlds reality, if all you can see is pain and devastation and the sick twisted lives that most live here, then i pray that one day you grow beyond the cynical view of one so young. I think we've spoken before that you are a young soul. Take it from one that has lived several lives and most of them painful. I love this existence even as i hate it. I love smelling the flowers and feeling the sun on my face even as i sneeze and the sun burns my skin. I love interacting with humans and being able to have relationships with souls that i would not have met if i hadn't decided to join the physical plane once more even though some of them break my heart and damage my soul.
Yes i am not my body, but the body is me. It was a gift given to me as i entered this plane and though it is just blood and bone, it is also a tool which helps guide me through this world. Without it i could not run, without it i could not breathe, without it i could hold my dr. pepper can and taste its delicious flavor slide down my tongue, burn in my belly, and come back up in a loud burp. I could not feel those things as i do with my body if i was but a soul. We get a constant flow of nurture from outside influences that tell us we're ugly, that we need this or that to be happy. Simply remember they are lying. I hate how my body looks in the eyes of those deceivers, but then when i forget what they've said i love my body. With it i can sit in a chair, feel the soft fur of my charlicat. with it i can taste the rain on the wind and feel water caress my skin. With it i can give a hug and receive a hug. Without my body i could not kiss or smile or laugh in the way that you can on this plane.
The point of the world is not to live your life how other people tell you, it is to experience the world and come to your own conclusions. People see the world as they believe it is. Because they believe it to be a certain way it makes them blind to certain truths that simply don't fit into their way of thinking. You can try to change the way they see things but only give them hints, don't try to force it because they won't believe you and you'll alienate them. If they choose to be blind, then let them be.
Do not hate your body, do not despise it's functions, it's abilities or lack there of. Do not hate that it dies as soon as it lives nor that it restrains the abilities that our spirits possess. Do not hate that you're beliefs are being molded by the influences of this world into feeling poorly about yourself. You only have one try with this time, with this body. Once this body dies, it will not be remade. There is nothing like living. I can't imagine not wanting to come back and experience another life, even if it is the same as, or worse, than others i've had. Enjoy life and the short time you have for you'll die eventually and in that vast existence of an afterlife, whether it be on clouds, in light or in darkness, you can ponder the meaning of your being and find the truths within yourself. For the only thing you have to do in order to find yourself in this life is be honest, believe what you feel and what you've experienced on your own.
You don't need to feel bad for something you have no control over. You can only regret something that you can control, that you have responsibility for. The way you think, the shape of your physical form, the way you feel. These are all things you cannot control. You can control your actions or lack there of, you can control what you say and don't say, and how you make other people feel. these are things that you can control and the only things of which you should feel guilty for. You can't stop people thinking stupid things based on stereotypes nor can you stop people from being hurt over things they perceive in their world that isn't the same as yours.
so love thyself in all your forms, and accept people in all of theirs. and i'm pretty sure i went off on some random tangent.... oh well.
whiskers,
kat
I must say that your tangent was quite a touching one. I won't say that I feel any different about my circumstance (granted this feeling was likely brought about by some recent misfortune), but I hope the hoplessness passes. (was that an oxymoron?) From what I've seen you have many insightful and wise advices to give, Katie. I almost feel better...
"Ignorance is not always bliss". I suppose it's time I become more positive, rather than veering towards that negative mindset I'm so keen to. Thanks again.
-DI-
indeed she is.
I guess the main problem with becoming is that most of us grew up believing we were human. A lifetime of conditioning is hard to overcome when the only basis of falsehood comes from a gut feeling. And then there are those that are almost too ready to abandon the human facade and become something else. I'm lucky that i had never considered myself human. I always felt like a wolf in sheeps clothing. I always thought it was strange that i practiced certain talents that no normal 4 year old girl in a well established and safe suburban family would practice. but i could never stop making sure i could move silently and be gasping for breath, though you wouldn't hear a sound, and i always thought it strange that i would smell the air before i entered a room. I practiced hiding in plain sight and always used all of my senses instead of just sight as most humans do. I had looked at my family and friends and sometimes thought their face structures alien. i always felt separate even though i acted just as they did. i can't say that realizing i wasn't human was a happy moment. I was grateful that what i felt was real, and the things i thought and knew weren't crazy. But it also meant that i was different than most of the people in my family. Discovering that i actually am alien to them is a blow. it's hard accepting you're different, because accepting it is the same as accepting that you'll never actually belong, you can pretend and you can play along, but you are not human and are no longer in their circle. So it's lucky that we've found this place. out of one circle and into another. It's a new family. where you can be accepted even if you do drink blood, feed off of emotions, or randomly see humans as prey. I mean really, if you can still accept someone even though they thought of eating a human, it's gotta be family.
whiskers
kat
I feel in my heart that I have long ago begun this second step, Camille. It's merely a matter of living past the wishes of my parents. As you might have already guessed, I'm still occupied with high school. Trying to live up to their expectations while they continually 'protect me' from what they don't know is myself gets rather frustrating. In the end I place my joy in the fact that nomatter what restrictions they place on me bodily, they cannot restrict my soul.
Thank you Camille for your input, as it is VERY much appreciated.
And thanks to Velvet (if she ever sees this) for her strong words. Although they weren't quite written for this topic, they hold relevance and are relieving.
I'm only glad that I was invited here and have found so many kind souls within. Everyone here has helped me so much in the short time I've been. Thanks..
-DI-
haha that could be it too. maybe someday we can have a human picnic... only i wonder if that would be a type of cannibalism? Is it cannibalism if something that looks human but isn't eats a human? what if we could p shift? then as animals eating a human then turning back to human, is that still cannibalism? hmm....
either way i'm sure cow steak is way better than human filet.
